


with every heartbeat i have left (i will defend your every breath)

by ftmpeter



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Self-Sacrifice, and if i have to you’re all going down with me, because suffering is what i’m best at, i took what happy said in ffh and ran with it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-25 03:51:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20370223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ftmpeter/pseuds/ftmpeter
Summary: For Tony Stark, thinking came up with the only logical conclusion.Morgan and Peter + alive, beating heart and working nerve = rest.





	with every heartbeat i have left (i will defend your every breath)

Some people act before they think. They rely solely on instinct, reaction shooting through their bodies before they’re even aware of it. Like a wildfire, engulfing them in seconds. Burning them alive.

Tony Stark does not do that.

In fact, since the moment he learned how to, Tony Stark was thinking. Now, was it  _ rationally?  _ That’s debatable. But one thing that always, always rang true was that if he was awake, if he was conscious, he was thinking.

It wasn’t always good. It wasn’t as enlightening as others assumed it would be. He often found himself trapped in his own mind, stuck like a broken record player. Constantly reminded of all the regrets he held, all the hurt he felt, all the pain he carried. But at least it meant his brain was working. At least it meant blood still ran through his veins and he was still terribly, terribly human. Humans think. It’s built into them.

And for Tony Stark, thinking came up with the only logical conclusion.

_Morgan and Peter + alive, beating heart and working nerve = rest._

-

If Tony could pinpoint the moment when he realized what needed to happen, it was when Peter Parker stumbled into view underneath a red sky, dirt on his face and rambling about forty different things.

(He thinks that maybe he hit his head a little too hard, because Peter couldn’t be here, no, he had faded and Tony couldn’t stop it, couldn’t stop him from turning into ashes in his very hands - )

But Peter is there, and Tony nearly collapses. He hasn’t felt such pure, unadulterated _relief_ in so long that it makes his legs want to give out from under him. So he staggers forward instead, ignoring Peter’s questions in favor of wrapping him in a tight hug. Everything is falling apart, everything is chaotic and there’s only one answer but he’s here, and to Tony, nothing else is important.

He thinks this might be the universe telling him that it’s time.

And so he kicks back up into motion. 

-

When he sees his chance, he doesn’t hesitate. Hesitation is dangerous. Hesitation kills. So he leaps at Thanos, clutching onto his arm, onto the gauntlet.

Tony feels himself grab something solid, something thrumming with an endless kind of energy. He focuses on that even as he’s thrown backwards violently, crashing against a rock with enough force to leave him wheezing. He focuses on that even as everything else spins, even as he starts to shake uncontrollably putting the stones into his suit.

_End this how you started._

Thanos raises his hand, face twisting into a cruel grin as his fingers graze together. “I.. am inevitable.”

The snap sounds like a closed door. An end.

He sees Thanos turn towards him, but Tony can’t relish the look of shock on his face for too long, because his back suddenly arches and he almost passes out from the sheer power of the stones working its way through him. It’s a blinding white pain, so intense and overwhelming that for a few seconds, it’s all he is. He’s an exploding star, a supernova, a black hole collapsing into itself.

He grits his teeth, trying to breathe.

“I,” Tony sees Morgan’s hair bouncing around her as she runs. Sees her holding her arms up towards him, eager to be lifted into the air. To sit on her father’s shoulders because she knows he would never, ever let her fall.

_“I love you, 3000.”_

“Am,” He feels Peter in his arms, head in his chest. His smile is so bright, his curls bouncing in the sun as he sends a video from on top of a building, detailing his most recent patrol. He’s stepping around the lab, talking endlessly about homework and that pretty girl in his classes and how cool everything in here is and Tony can only stare, stare because how did the sun manage to squeeze so much of its light into this sixteen year old boy?

_“I just wanted to be like you.”_

The weight of what he’s about to do settles in his gut.

_They’re alive. They have so much waiting for them. They are the questions and you are the answer._

_This is the answer._

“Iron Man.”

-

_(“I don’t think Tony would have done what he did if he knew you weren’t going to be here after he was gone.”_

_Tony wants to tell Happy just how right he is.)_

**Author's Note:**

> can u tell that i live entirely for angst
> 
> can u


End file.
